Can High potentials individuals build friendship?

In society, the concept of a group serves as a social structure that offers identity, comfort, and stability in behavioral and attitudinal norms. Groups allow individuals to identify with most trends and interests within a well-defined entity. Like a citadel protected by successive ramparts, a group offers its members the opportunity for self-regulated fulfillment within a system of codes, limits, and injunctions. In simpler terms: a group reassures and protects.

 However, every protective system comes with limitations and established values, meaning a group naturally cannot be too permeable. Over time, it cannot significantly expand, change habits, or accept divergent trends, values, or opinions. Protecting and reassuring can only be sustained by strictly adhering to the group's foundational conditions. Any deviation from these norms can threaten the group's balance. This presents a significant challenge for a high intellectual potential (HPI) individual.

A Black Sheep in the Arena

 For an HPI individual, a group initially offers structure and a semblance of stability amidst the overwhelming and destabilizing society at large. The group seems reassuring, protective, and calming, meeting the HPI's criteria for survival in a confusing and often violent world.

 However, the reality for HPI individuals unfolds differently. Until adolescence, things may go relatively smoothly. They might conform to established rules, trusting the group's leader and hierarchy, and finding enjoyment in a semblance of conformity. But as they accumulate knowledge and connectivity with their environment, they begin to see the group's impermeability to new elements, ideas, and practices. The group is set in its ways, resistant to change and divergent values. This rigidity clashes with the HPI's characteristics of hyper-openness, hyper-curiosity, hyper-empathy, and hyper-justice.

 As the HPI individual matures, their love for life and its intricacies grows, widening the gap between them and their original group. The group, once a source of comfort, becomes a symbol of conformism and limitation, causing an ever-increasing sense of alienation.

An Inextricable Situation

 On one hand, the group is appealing for its reassurance and structure, especially to an HPI individual struggling to make sense of a chaotic world. Being part of a group also provides a sense of belonging and an image to present to the world: "Look, I belong to a group, too." However, the group also means dealing with a leader, a hierarchy, converging opinions, established trends, and a ministry of 'proper thinking' and information. These parameters conflict with the functioning of an HPI profile. So, what's the solution?

 Conforming to the group can lead to intellectual exhaustion and eventual anxiety and depression. Breaking away from group principles can cause a sense of suffocation, immense boredom, and growing disgust for both the structure and oneself.

Accepting One's Multiplicity

 The only viable option for an HPI individual is to orbit around a group without fully committing. Being part of a group in a conventional sense requires so much energy to maintain and find fulfillment that it's often better to remain somewhat detached.

 If conventional groups don't suit you, consider bending the rules and creating your reality. In friendships, avoid confining yourself to a limited number of recurring themes and group-approved topics. Instead, gather a range of personalities that fulfill your diverse interests. You won't have one friend group but multiple friends, each group or individual contributing to different aspects of your life. This approach frees you from recurring obligations, logistical issues, and the stifling thought and opinion barriers of a group. And if you ever need to distance yourself from certain individuals, you won't lose an entire group, just the elements that no longer align with you.

Gathering Satellite Friends?

When special or symbolic events arise, you might wish to gather all your friends, forming a temporary group. This scenario can be challenging and emotionally taxing for an HPI individual. Attempting is possible but be aware of the emotional and energetic load it involves. Above all, remember that your best friend and primary care priority should always be yourself.

Exhaustion is a daily challenge for the high potential individual.

The human body, an infinitely complex machine, has much to teach us about the energy demands of a high intellectual potential (HPI) individual. Especially intriguing is the role of our two brains: the more familiar one in our head and the often overlooked one in our gut, rich in nerve cells and a key producer of serotonin, a well-being hormone.

 HPI individuals, also known as zebras or the gifted, face a unique challenge due to the high energy demands of their highly active and interconnected brain. Just like a train requiring more coal for steeper and more winding routes, an HPI's brain, bustling with activity and constant analysis, demands a significant energy supply to keep up with its pace.

Daily Obstacles and Variations

Each day for an HPI is an adventure, filled with detailed environmental analysis and a chain of associations, interpretations, and understandings, all of which consume a great deal of energy. This intense neural activity and hyper-connectivity can be likened to the “Spoon Theory” by Christine Miserandino, originally used to describe the energy management of those with chronic illness or disability. This metaphor aptly applies to HPIs as well, illustrating the substantial energy expenditure they face daily.

Imagine starting the day with a limited number of “spoons,” each representing a unit of energy. Various activities and interactions, from commuting to work to attending meetings, gradually deplete these spoons. By mid-afternoon, an HPI individual may find their energy reserves critically low, emphasizing the challenge of managing a high-energy-consuming brain amidst daily demands.